A Big Fat Fakira Wedding

If you know me well you know I have a big family that mean a lot to me, there are 48 Fakira's and we are very close.  Last year my cousin Suraj decided he was going to marry his girlfriend, Roshni.  For those of you who have been involved in an indian wedding you will know that there is a lot of organising and people management to get right, and it generally falls on the shoulders of the parents.  Only 12 months earlier myself and my mum went through this for my sister's wedding.  My uncle Nillan and auntie Hansa, set off on a 12 month journey of stress and handwork.  

WARNING this is a long read!

In our family we have a tradition to hand deliver wedding invites to our close relatives. In May, me and my mum were lucky to be able to go with Nillan, Hansa and Suraj's brother Mithan to deliver the invites to Hansa's family in Leicester.  We set off on the Saturday of the bank holiday in May and arrived in Leicester on a warm, sunny day.  We visited Hansa's 2 brothers, her niece's house, where we had a few beers and lots of food.  My mums brother, Pravin lives in Leicester about 10min away from Hansa's older brother so me and mum went to my uncles house in the evening to sleep.  When we got to my uncles house he and my cousin had a couple of bottles of Whisky open and had started having a few Saturday night beverages.  I joined them and for a drink and one Whisky lead to another.  My uncle was sent to bed slurring his words and staggering.  Between 3 of us we finished about a bottle of Whisky needless to say I was feeling rough the next day and the journey home was grim.

My Cousins and their partners

2 weeks before the wedding my uncle Nillan and his family came round to give us our official wedding invite.  I specifically asked them to leave my house to the end as we live 7 doors apart on the same street and we could have some good food, drink and relax without worrying about working the next day.  Tradition in our family says we do not cook any meat when wedding invites are being given out.  A month before they arrived me and my mum had a few discussions about the menu.  I wanted to make something contemporary and light, whilst my mum wanted to keep it traditional.  As we got closer to the day we struck a compromise and with the good weather we did a Sea food BBQ.  The weather was perfect, I fired up the BBQ and cooked my home made crab cakes on the BBQ, my mum marinaded some Prawns, Salmon and Cod, along with my crushed potatoes we had a feast.  I was made up with the evening I think everyone had fun and we sent the family on their way to a happy wedding.

Wedding Week 

After 12 months of planning it was wedding week.  The weekend before the wedding weekend me, Nillan and Mithan moved out some of the large furniture from their house to my garage and we emptied their garage into mine to make space for all the guests who will be attending the Hindu ceremonies… And of course its a wedding so the furniture move was followed by a beer.  Tuesday 14th July the Marquee arrived at Nillan's house.  After work I went to the house to help continue the preparations.  We covered the carpet and decorated the Marquee.  There was a good bunch of us at the house that night and it turned into a little bit of a party.  We enjoyed a few family drinks, Nillan even got the Sambuca out.  Wednesday there was less to do so we enjoyed a little more of Nillan's hospitality.

Thursday

Thursday finally arrived and it was the official start of the wedding, Hansa's family arrived from across the country and the Fakira's all finished work.  Traditionally the start of the wedding is marked by a party and pampering for the females of the family.  The evening started with Hansa sitting down for her traditional mother of the groom henna.  Everyone got time to socialise and catch up with each other over several drinks.  By the end of the night some people were a little worse for wear and had to be carried out.

Friday 

For those of you who have never been to a Hindu wedding, there are many ceremonies to ensure that the mind and body are both prepared for the wedding. Hindu's are very spiritual.  Friday saw the start of the religious ceremonies.  The whole family headed to wedding HQ early in the morning.  The wedding started with a small ceremony to Ganesh (Elephant God) to bless luck on the all the activities that are to follow.  

Mandap Muhurat/Pithi

Suraj getting yellow

Following the blessing a purification ceremony is performed.  The groom is covered in a paste mixed of oil and turmeric, this is a natural antiseptic and reduces the risk of spots and blemishes for the wedding day, and more importantly you look good for the pictures.  Traditionally this is applied to the bride and groom a week before the wedding.  The next ceremony performed is to remember the close family members who have past away and will not attend.  A symbolic ceremony is done to invite the spirits of the loved ones to the wedding.  Even though I am not particularly religious, I think this is a good way to ensure that in the buzz you remember the important people in your life who are no longer here.  After this we finally got some lunch, and a quick outfit change, it already felt like I had a long day at the half way point.

  

Remembering our loved ones

Satak

After lunch we all showered and made an quick outfit change to complete the final religious ceremony.  This is ceremony where Ganesh is invited to the house,  this ceremony is carried out by the groom and his parents.  The priest tied a red thread to Suraj's turmeric covered right hand, symbolising purity. He is also given a Manek Sthumbh - the pillar of gems - expressing the sign of good luck and wealth.  PS I googled all of that, but there was a fire and no drinking involved. 

Moshaal

Following religious ceremonies we then formally invited Hansa's family to the wedding, even though they had been here since Thursday they get a formal invite especially as the job of Hansa's brothers is to provide the wedding outfit for the groom.  Hansa's family came to my house to get ready, and they walked from my house to wedding HQ carrying all gifts.  God knows what was going through my neighbours mind.

Whilst they were giving the gifts and taking pictures I slipped out with a few of the lads to Formby Hall where we were having dinner and drinks.  I helped setup the bar and the serve the snacks for all the guests who arrived.  My job for the evening was to ensure everyone had a full glass.  I obviously had to have a sample of the drinks… its part of the rules, don't worry I am not an alcoholic, I was drinking rum… That makes me a pirate!!  

The mood was a little less loud and crazy as Thursday mainly because most people were hungover and also tried from the long day, we finished pretty early and head home.  It was going to be a early start.

Wedding Day 

Suraj ready to go meet Roshni

Saturday morning my alarm was set at 5.30am but I was woken up by a knock on the door.  My mum had a makeup artist booked to do her hair and makeup, I don't know why it wasn't her wedding ha.  I was up early with nothing to do, we had my cousin Nayan and his wife Sivan stayed at mine so I made everyone breakfast.  I stood outside my house watching my street fill up with cars and a bad ass coach driver reversing up the street.  I put on my new Indian suit and headed up the street, before we set off me and Mithan grabbed hold of a new 1LTR bottle of Whisky and Vodka and put it on the coach.  We had 2 coaches, but for some reason 1 coach was just the Fakira's and the other coach had the remaining wedding party.  Suraj went in the wedding car he hired and we all set off to Leicester on time-ish.  We arrived in Leicester and we were greeted by the Brides family, we went into the venue for a quick breakfast, of muffins and masala tea (yes my second, its hard work all this wedding work).  After breakfast we all went back outside for the official welcome and to take Suraj into the venue.  This was pretty dramatic. There were guys playing big indian drums (Dhol) and the family dancing.  I am not a dancer so I stand in the back just nodding my head.  Its a traditional welcome to the groom and in the olden days in India the whole village would come out and party as the groom walks in. 

Me and Dip

I missed most of the ceremony as I was helping out with collecting the wedding gifts.  I was honoured by my uncle to do one of the most important and responsible jobs as the wedding, so me and Dip sat at the back collecting the wedding gifts and money the guests gave to Suraj and Roshni.  After the wedding my dad's sister took a bunch of us to the hotel bar to get a quick drink whilst the bride and groom went to take pictures.  Ok I maybe turning into a alcoholic… but its not my fault its traditional.  We said our goodbyes about 5.30pm and got on the coach back to Atherton.  The Fakira coach was divided in half, me and my cousins were at the back and my auntie and uncles were at the front.  We must of got half a mile down the road before my oldest uncle (Mota) cracked open a beer and a bottle of wine, he went to the shop before we set off. So we cracked open our bottles.  We sang we danced and between the coach we went through a lot of booze.  This was one of the best journey's I have ever done.  We were so drunk and didn't stop laughing.  Apart from the kids and the driver I don't think there was a sober person. We got back to the house and Suraj was already waiting outside.  They played a few traditional wedding games, sorry I was too drunk to watch so I am not sure what games they played.  We all went home early and relaxed.  Brilliant day, we could not of hoped for better weather, clearer roads and hospitality of Roshni's family, not to mention the bad ass coach driver who let us party.

Sunday

Varsha and Me

The next day we had an intimate wedding reception in Alberts on the East Lancs.  I used the opportunity to bring Varsha to her first Fakira gathering, she had met the family previously but not as one big mass.  I have to say the food was amazing at Alberts and the atmosphere was brilliant.  It was just like how Suraj and Roshni wanted, it was relaxed, everyone could chat and laugh with a little background music.  We sat outside on the balcony in the sun drinking and relaxing after the busy week.  Suraj and Roshni were heading off to Mauritius that evening too have their civil wedding, so we gave them a send off with confetti.  After they left the party came to a natural end and we all went home.  On the way home we had one more bright idea and half the family ended up in the Far Pav indian restaurant for one last gathering.  It was a perfect end to a brilliant wedding.  I have to say it was well organised and so much fun, it was what the family needed especially after my gran leaving.